The Topic of Great Randomness

[Wilf]

Originally posted by Artemis Wolfang:
Does anyone else notice that the ONE mp3 that you need is like NOWHERE on the internet?! *dies*

YES! I soooo agree. I am currently searching for and MP3 of Carillon de Westminster by Louis Vierne. I love tha piece, and have been trying to find a copy to listen to for ages. If someone knows where I can getone, please say

Btw, I am currently (re-)reading Ursula Le Guin's excel;lent Earthsea trilogy/series. Anyone else know about them?

[Danzrgrl101]

<span class="ev_code_GREEN">Z</span>- Thanks if you go to chatter 2 then go to RP thread on here? and go to the last page and you will see my other siggy. It's from pirates of the carribean!Trust me Angel_star is happy to be back to... And excuse me but are you happy i'm here?? you are so cool and nice Z! I wish you lived in kentucky we could get to know each other! Tear, Tear! I'm sssssooooo glad Angel_star is back to! she had been dying to get on! Plus vgdawn ain't workin for her!

<span class="ev_code_PINK">Angel_Star</span>- hey I miss you hurry up and get on so that we can talk about random stuff! Me and you are good at that! right Angel_Star?

<span class="ev_code_BLUE">BIW</span>- thanks for helping me figure out about that shut down thingy! LOL! Where are you from really! (State wize)



<span class="ev_code_RED">"My horns are holding up my hallo but my hallo is getting to heavy for the horns to hold up...HELP"</span>


<span class="ev_code_RED">"Sorry i couldn't rezist mate..o by the way..nice hat" From Pirate's of the carribean "You've got to have been the worst pirate i have ever heard of...but you have heard of me! From Pirate's of the Carribean</span>

[Aurora]

I WANT A CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm not allowed one. I STILL WANT A CAT!!!!!!!!!! A black one. A little black kitten. I want one....

but I'm not allowed one........ T___________T I'd name it A Shadow's Secret... or something whacked out like that.

Re: suicide

I actually sorted out my thoughts so now I make more sense.

Suicide and depression are way too complex to just be labelled- Sure, it's selfish if you look at it from one point of view (that of the people around the person), but to even remotely understand it, you have to look through the eyes of the depressed and suicidal person as well. And because people are different, we all see things differently and cope differently, that's not an easy task.

For example, I personally am more likely to feel sad and depressed because I can't get over my mistakes. When I succeed, I party for maybe five minutes, then I start thinking about what I did wrong. I focus on my failures, and not my successes, and sometimes, I wake up and think "I'm nothing but a useless failure." And I know I'm almost an exception in that, because I can't get over my mistakes.

Another example would be me and my friend- She's the sort of person who blames the world around her, and directs her anger outward. I blame myself, and all my anger is directed at myself.

So if we do badly on a test, she will usually blame the teacher for not being clear, or her family for not giving her enough quiet time to study. I blame myself for not studying. If I did study, I'll blame myself for not studying ENOUGH.

We're both outcasts in the school 'hierarchy' (you know, cool kids on top, losers and outcasts on bottom), but she blames the people around her for not accepting her. She directs her anger outward, and just takes the pain from it within. I blame myself for not being friendly and likeable, and I get angry at myself, and take both anger and sadness within.

We were both, at one point, cutters. She did it because it was like crying for her- making a physical hurt alleviated her inner pain because it took something and made it real. So then the inner pain dissapated (or something like that... --'' I don't get it). I used cutting as a punishment- "I deserve this pain, because I'm a bad person."

If she ever commits suicide, it will be because she can't take the world around her anymore, she hates the world and she hates life. If I ever committed suicide, it would be because "I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve life. Everyone is better off without a horrible person like me around."

So suicide and depression are far more complex to just be labelled "selfish." Maybe she would be selfish, but she sees no way out. I, however, would be a lot more difficult to place, because I killed myself thinking it would benefit the world. So is that selfish? In a sense, it's rather self-less, I think.

Also... just saying things like 'suicide is selfish' makes people like me, who blame themselves, feel even worse, sometimes. We know we've thought about it, even passingly, and when you say that, our minds connect suicide and suicidal people and we think "I am selfish...?" And it's sort of like a verification of what we always suspected. The first time I cut (or one of them anyway, I don't really remember...), it was because a guy told me I was selfish, stupid, arrogant, self-centred, fake, and pretty much every other negative quality in the English language... I remember he said "It's great, to see you hurt like this." Remind me never to date him. --''

[Artemis Wolfang]

Aurora, I don't think that this is really the place to discuss this. I know how you feel... but please, <span class="ev_code_RED">if you or anyone else you know is thinking of committing suicide, please reconsider and get professional help, for everyone's sake</span>.

On the topic of the mp3:
It's called Dark Side Stories, it's in Japanese, and it's from the anime Yu Yu Hakusho.

[Birdhead]

*hugs Aurora* Kit, I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to say I thought suicidal people were selfish, as I tried to say... obviously not successfully.

[Aurora]

huh? Actually, it wasn't so much you, Tui, I had an issue with- You tried to see it from the point of view of the suicidal/depressed person, and trying is what counts. You said that they think that no one cares, and for some people, that IS what they think. I didn't have an issue with you, because you at least tried to see it from both sides.

Artemis also has her mp3 now. ^^

[db_pr]

Yes, and I'm sorry. When I said I agreed with crookedfrog, I wasn't thinking it the right way. Now that I do, though. And I try to think it the way Tui tried and everything. I see that I was wrong, though I don't think I'll ever be suicidal and can't know, people can't prejudge a situation which they have never been a part of.

[Zgirl]

Okay. (Has nothing to say.) I'm pretty sure I won't be suicidal mostly because I always have my family and friends in the back of my mind and they always support me, so I don't know if I would ever think that.
I also don't know if I'd ever be able to drink alchohol because of something that happened a year ago. I've pretty much decided that the world is better off without it and so am I. We all have these things that we have to just find our way through don't we? I'm not making any sense are I?

[Agent M]

I don't really know how I feel about depression and suicide, I think that the people who feel depression don't need to talk to shrinks, the only people they need to talk to are themselves and their friends.

[Gryphon]

VGDawn isn't working again? *groan!*

*huggles, Aurie* I care, I care.

Diego:
I see that I was wrong, though I don't think I'll ever be suicidal and can't know, people can't prejudge a situation which they have never been a part of.

Z:
I'm pretty sure I won't be suicidal mostly because I always have my family and friends in the back of my mind and they always support me, so I don't know if I would ever think that.

You don't know, but at least you have something to fall back on.

Off this topic. Last night I couldn't sleep at all. I got in bed at 11:30 after a looong game of flashlighttag, feeling very very POed. Why? Cuz of this idiot kid named Bran. I don't see what's wrong with him, but it's like he can't reason. And he has such an attitude problem, probably the worst combination possibly. Let me think where it started... Oh, I went to Joe's house. Lil bro, Bran, and Joe were sitting on the front porch. Well, more like lil bro and Joe were sitting, Bran standing; they only have two chairs. Meh, I miss their old bench. Let me think of what they were talking about... Mostly random senseless stuff with a little bit of immature boy stuff mixed in. Ugg. So Tronas [my bro] started coughing just as BB pulled into their driveway. BB [Joe's older brother who practises violin for 6 hours a day - insane] let Tronas get water. So the trio thought it was a great idea to storm the house (shakes head). Eventually they came outside again and Joe started doing push ups. We started at him for a moment like, "what's your problem?" Rah rah rah! Joe thinks he's so cool, he's always showing off. When we watch movies in the basement, he weight lifts. So Tronas nudged me and Bran, saying "run!" Halfway down the street, Grace met up with us and we went inside to play a boardgame. Heh, we made pizza crackers. It would work like this: Tronas would be the 'cook', putting cheese & everything on the crackers. Bran would put it in the microwave. I would throw away whatever needed to be thrown away, and Gracie would open anything that needed to be opened. Our jobs were pretty useless. But we finished at least two stacks or crackers and the entire bag of cheese.

I'll finish later.

[Zgirl]

Hee-hee. Little bro and Joe they rhyme. It sounds like my friends neighborhood. (She has a lot of kids in it.)
Hey M! I tried Snickerdoodles yesterday! *drools*
Mmmm they're so good! Now I need to go to your neighbor's house!

[Fox]

Wow I seemed to have missed a lot in the last 3-4 days!! Its like an eternity went past without me knowing! Just read what DD had to say... So thought I would say ...??? Have not got a clue!! So whats everyone been up to? 1 day of work left!!! and then Uni in 2 months!! 2 month hoilday for me .
C U lot later
oh before I go, go see school of rock!! Its great!! My students have watched it 5 times in the last week!! its a great film!
Fox

[Agent M]

School of Rock is good!
Snickerdoodles are better........ Maybe I should ask my sister to go to my neighbors and make cookies with her..... *grin*

[BelieverInWizardry]

YAY!!! INTERNET ROCKS!!!!!! NO MORE WEEKS OF NOT BEING HERE AND MISSING OUT ON ALL THE GOOD STUFF ON YW! WOOHOO!!!!!!!

I LUV MY KITTIES! Well, they're not really mine, but anywho, I LUV THEM!!!!!! I have one of them on the desk right now, and she's stepping on the keyboard. Teehee. I'm bored. MUST PUT ON MUSIC!!!! Hmmm... LINKIN PARK!!!!!

[Zgirl]

I was just thinking about that movie! It's my favorite! I really like music so it's the perfect movie for me! My favorite character is the kid who makes the costumes!!! He's so funny!